Pastor Goes to Comedy School
Pastor Dave, known more for his fire-and-brimstone sermons than his fire-and-funny jokes, signed up for comedy school. “The Lord works in mysterious ways,” he’d declared to the bewildered congregation after announcing his sabbatical. “And sometimes, that way involves a laugh riot.”
His first class was a disaster. He told a lengthy parable about a lost sheep… punctuated by dramatic pauses and pointed stares. The instructor, a young woman with bright pink hair named Tiffany, winced. “Pastor,” she said gently, “that’s… very… meaningful. But where’s the funny?”
“The lost sheep found its way back!” Pastor Dave exclaimed, genuinely puzzled. “Isn’t that uplifting?”
Tiffany sighed. “Uplifting, yes. Gut-bustingly hilarious? Not so much.” She encouraged him to try observational humor. So, for his next performance, Pastor Dave decided to talk about the annoyances of modern technology.
“These smartphones!” he boomed, pacing the stage. “They’re supposed to make life easier, but I can barely work the TV remote! I tried to send my sermon notes via email, and I ended up ordering a lifetime supply of flamingo garden ornaments!”
The class stared blankly.
“Get it?” he prompted. “Flamingos! I don’t even like flamingos!”
Still nothing.
Finally, during his final performance, desperation set in. Pastor Dave decided to just tell a joke he’d heard from a parishioner, completely butchering the delivery. He mumbled something about a duck walking into a pharmacy and asking for ChapStick. The punchline, as garbled as it was, finally elicited a laugh. One single, solitary chuckle.
Emboldened, Pastor Dave beamed. “And that, my friends,” he announced triumphantly, “is why ducks should always moisturize!”
The audience burst into uproarious laughter. Not at the joke, mind you, but at Pastor Dave’s utter lack of comedic timing and his completely nonsensical conclusion. He bowed deeply, taking the applause as a sign of his newfound comedic genius. “Truly,” he thought, “the Lord does work in mysterious ways. Turns out, I’m funny when I don’t even try.”
