Naples Mama’s Market Meltdown! It all started with the tomatoes. Mama Rosa, owner of the most vibrant (and opinionated) market stall in Naples, surveyed her prize-winning San Marzano tomatoes with a frown. “Luigi!” she bellowed, her voice echoing through the bustling marketplace. Luigi, her perpetually flustered assistant, scurried over, wiping his brow with a grubby apron.
“Mama?” he squeaked, bracing himself.
“These tomatoes,” Mama Rosa declared, holding up a particularly plump specimen, “they lack… *zing!*” Luigi blinked. He wasn’t sure what a tomato lacking “zing” looked like, but he knew arguing with Mama Rosa was a recipe for disaster – or at least, a very bruised ego.
“Perhaps… more sunshine, Mama?” Luigi suggested timidly.
Mama Rosa snorted. “Sunshine? Luigi, these tomatoes have seen more sun than you’ve seen… well, anything interesting!” She then let out a shriek that could curdle milk. A rogue pigeon had landed directly on her prize-winning basil plant, leaving a rather… substantial deposit.
Luigi, ever the optimist, tried again. “Perhaps we could… advertise the ‘naturally fertilized’ basil?” he offered, gesturing weakly towards the offending bird.
Before Mama Rosa could unleash her fury, a small child, no older than five, toddled up to the stall, eyes wide with wonder. He pointed at the pigeon droppings and declared, in a loud, clear voice, “Mama, look! Bird poo!”
Mama Rosa stared at the child, then at the basil, then back at the child. A slow smile spread across her face. “Luigi,” she said, her voice calm for the first time all morning, “Five kilos of that ‘naturally fertilized’ basil, please. We’re having a sale!”
