Author: Johnson Abrams
Retired Tom’s Punctuality Problem
Retired Tom prided himself on two things: his meticulously groomed prize-winning petunias and his utter inability to be on time. For his weekly bridge club, this was a constant source …
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Black Bird’s White Lie
Barnaby the blackbird puffed out his chest, a tiny, coal-black puff of feathers. He perched precariously on the garden gnome’s hat, surveying his handiwork. A magnificent, perfectly symmetrical mud pie …
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Old Guys, Long Life? Their Secret’s …
Old Man Fitzwilliam, a spry eighty-year-old with a mischievous glint in his eye, was the envy of the retirement home. He was constantly bouncing around, gardening in his speedos (much …
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Holy Smokes! Church League Showdown!
Reverend Billy, a man whose sermons were less fire-and-brimstone and more gentle humming, was surprisingly competitive. This year, he’d decided to lead the St. Jude’s Church League softball team to …
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Robo-Lawyers: Judgement Bot!
Barnaby Butterfield, a renowned (and slightly disreputable) cheesemaker, found himself facing a lawsuit. Not for anything involving questionable cheese-making practices, surprisingly, but for accidentally launching a rogue cheese-flavored weather balloon …
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Gin-soaked Priest’s Nightmare
Father O’Malley, a man whose faith was as strong as his fondness for gin, awoke with a gasp. He was surrounded by…rabbits. Hundreds of them. Giant, fluffy, strangely judgmental rabbits, …
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Archer’s Zen: Ego vs. Arrow
Bartholomew “Barty” Butterfield, a self-proclaimed Zen archer of questionable skill, stood poised at the archery range. His bright orange headband, adorned with a single, slightly askew feather, bobbed with each …
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Holmes & Watson: Tent Trouble!
Holmes and Watson were on a camping trip, a rare foray into the wilderness for the usually city-bound duo. Holmes, naturally, had packed a magnifying glass, a meticulously planned itinerary, …
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