Five top surgeons from big cities were having lunch together at a medical conference when the conversation turned — as it often does with surgeons — to the topic of the ideal patient.
The first surgeon, from New York, took a confident sip of his espresso and said, “I like to operate on accountants. When you open them up, everything is numbered. It’s like reading a well-organized spreadsheet with organs.”
The second surgeon, from Los Angeles, leaned in with a smirk. “Nah, give me electricians any day. Their insides are color-coded, and if something’s not working, it’s usually just a blown fuse or a short circuit in the pancreas.”
The third surgeon, from Chicago, rolled his eyes. “You guys have it easy. I prefer librarians. Everything’s in alphabetical order, they never interrupt, and best of all, they always return for follow-ups—on time, with bookmarks.”
The fourth surgeon, from Dallas, chuckled. “Please. You’re all amateurs. I go for lawyers. They’re heartless, gutless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable. Makes surgery a breeze — just swap parts and send them the bill.”
Finally, the fifth surgeon, from Silicon Valley, was silently stirring his green matcha latte. The others turned to him.
He smiled knowingly and said, “You’re all missing the goldmine. The best patients? Politicians.“
Everyone raised an eyebrow.
He continued, “They have no functioning brain, no spine, no guts, and their organs are all tax-deductible. Plus, every time you operate, there’s a new donor on standby. And if you mess up?”
He paused for dramatic effect.
“…nobody notices the difference.”
The table erupted in laughter — except for the guy in the corner wearing a “Vote for Honesty” badge. He quietly slid his salad aside and asked for the check.
