Barnaby the snail was late. Terribly, horribly late. His “Coast-to-Coast Crawl,” a meticulously planned journey across his garden, was already behind schedule. He’d envisioned a triumphant arrival at the giant sunflower at the far end, a symbolic victory over his inherent slowness. But, alas, he was stuck.
“Blast and botheration!” Barnaby muttered, his tiny voice barely audible above the buzzing of a particularly persistent bee. He was clinging precariously to a dewdrop clinging to a blade of grass, held hostage by a rogue spiderweb.
Just then, a booming voice startled him. “Well, well, well… what have we here?”
Barnaby peered upwards. A gargantuan grasshopper, Horace, loomed over him. Horace was known for his impatience and his questionable business ventures.
“I’m… I’m on hold,” Barnaby stammered, gesturing weakly with a tentacle. “My Coast-to-Coast Crawl… it’s… on hold.”
Horace chuckled, a sound like dry leaves skittering across pavement. “On hold, you say? Sounds like a terrible phone company. Let me guess, endless music and automated voices telling you your call is important?”
Barnaby nodded miserably. “Exactly! Except the music is the droning of a thousand bees, and the automated voice is… well, it’s the spider. He keeps saying things about ‘protein’ and ‘delicious snacks’.”
Horace peered closer at the web. “Aha! I see the problem. You’re stuck in a *customer service* spiderweb. Those are notoriously difficult to escape. They’ll keep you there until you agree to their terms and conditions – probably involving a lifetime supply of slime.”
Horace then dramatically pulled out a tiny pair of garden shears and snipped the web. Barnaby tumbled free, landing with a soft thud. “Thank you, Horace!” Barnaby exclaimed, relieved.
“Don’t mention it,” Horace said, “but next time, maybe invest in a better phone plan?” He winked. “Or perhaps, you know… just *walk* across the garden?”
