Officer Bob “The Bobfather” Roberts, a man whose mustache could rival a squirrel’s winter stash, was thrilled. His all-night shift at the precinct had been unexpectedly cancelled. Four glorious hours of extra sleep awaited! He practically floated home, arriving at 2 AM, a grin plastered across his face like a poorly applied sticker.
The problem? His wife, Delores, a woman whose snore could rival a freight train leaving the station, was asleep. And Delores, let’s just say, wasn’t thrilled about unscheduled awakenings. She treated them like a surprise tax audit, complete with scowls and muttered threats about “that darned cat.”
Bob, a master of stealth (mostly when it came to sneaking extra donuts), attempted a silent entry. He tiptoed, he slithered, he practically vibrated his way into the bedroom. He shed his shoes with the grace of a seasoned ninja, yet still managed to trip over the cat, Mittens (a fluffy terror with a penchant for midnight ambushes).
*THUMP!*
Mittens, startled, launched herself onto the bed, landing directly onto Delores’s face. Delores let out a shriek that could curdle milk at fifty paces. Bob, fearing the impending wrath, dove under the bed, only to find himself face-to-face with a rather large dust bunny that looked suspiciously like a small, hairy badger.
The ensuing chaos was legendary. Delores, eyes wide with a mixture of terror and fury, jumped out of bed. Mittens, now sporting a look of smug satisfaction, licked her paws. Bob, emerging from his dust-bunny hideout, looked like a suspect in a particularly messy heist.
“Bob! What in the name of all that is holy was THAT?!” Delores demanded, her voice a mixture of outrage and sleep-deprived bewilderment.
Bob, ever the smooth operator, stammered, “Uh…honey…alien attack? I…uh…fought them off. Single-handedly. Saved the world. And…I tripped. Over a…cat-sized badger. Under the bed.”
Delores stared at him. Then at Mittens. Then at the dust bunny, which was now mysteriously twitching.
Finally, she sighed. “Just get to bed, Bob,” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. “And for goodness sake, try not to save the world again before sunrise.”
Bob, ever grateful for a reprieve, scurried into bed, the faint smell of dust bunnies clinging to his uniform. He concluded that sometimes, a little extra sleep wasn’t worth the potential planetary crisis. Or at least, not the kind caused by his own clumsiness.
