A lonely 70-year-old widow named Mabel decided it was time to find companionship again. Tired of playing solitaire with herself and arguing with her parrot about politics, she bravely placed an ad in the local newspaper.
It read:
“Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and must still be good in bed. All applicants must apply in person.”
The next morning, the doorbell rang.
Mabel opened the door and found a gray-haired man in a wheelchair. He had no arms, no legs, and wore a shirt that read, “Retired… not expired!”
She blinked. “Can I help you?”
“I’m here about your ad,” he said with a toothy grin.
Mabel raised an eyebrow. “You? But you have no arms.”
He smiled. “So I can’t beat you.”
Her other eyebrow joined the first. “And no legs!”
“I can’t run around on you either!”
Now curious, Mabel asked, “Are you any good in bed?”
The man leaned forward slightly, winked, and said, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
Moral of the story: Sometimes the right man doesn’t need to run, hit, or even stand — just show up with a good attitude… and working fingers.
