Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network launched a very special service—hotlines for frogs. Yes, actual frogs. Apparently, there’s a niche market for amphibians who want to know more than just where the next fly is coming from.
One curious frog, named Leonard, decided to give it a try. Feeling a bit lonely and unusually introspective for a creature who spends most of his time on lily pads, he dialed in with a sticky toe and waited.
“Welcome to the Psychic Hotline,” the voice said. “Name, please?”
“Leonard,” croaked the frog confidently. “And I have one burning question: when will I find love?”
There was a pause. Clearly, the psychic was not used to dating questions from frogs.
“Well, Leonard,” she said cautiously, “let me gaze into the mists of the future… I see… I see… a young woman.”
Leonard’s eyes widened. “Yes! Go on!”
“She’s smart, kind, and she’s going to be very interested in you.”
Leonard nearly fell off his lily pad. “That’s amazing! When do I meet her? Where?”
The psychic paused dramatically. “You’ll meet her next spring. In a biology class. At a local high school.”
Leonard blinked. “Wait… in a class?”
“Yes,” she continued, “She’ll pick you up gently, place you in a tank, and stare into your eyes every day.”
Leonard gulped. “That doesn’t sound very romantic.”
“Well,” the psychic said brightly, “for her, it’s extra credit.”
Leonard hung up immediately and croaked in disbelief. “She’s not going to fall in love with me… she’s going to dissect me!”
From that day on, Leonard avoided schoolyards and instead joined a frog meditation group to focus on self-love. Because sometimes, the best future is one where you don’t end up under a magnifying glass.
