Guido Scores! (Almost.)
Guido, a tiny chihuahua with an outsized ego, believed he was a soccer superstar. He wore a miniature jersey (size: ridiculously small) and practiced his dribbling skills daily, weaving expertly between the legs of unsuspecting lawn gnomes in Mrs. Higgins’ garden.
Today was the day. The annual “Pawsitive Pups” soccer tournament. Guido’s team, the “Tail-Waggers,” were up against the formidable “Barking Bulldogs.” Guido paced nervously, his tiny paws barely making a sound on the astro-turf.
“Alright, Tail-Waggers! Let’s show ’em what we’ve got!” barked Coach Buster, a gruff but lovable Golden Retriever. “Guido, you’re up front! Remember the plan: agility, speed, and that killer tail-wagging distraction technique!”
The whistle blew. The Bulldogs, led by a lumbering but surprisingly quick Bernese Mountain Dog named Bruno, charged forward. Guido, using his superior maneuverability, dodged Bruno’s massive paws and snatched the ball. “Ha! You can’t catch me, fuzzball!” he yipped.
He dribbled, he danced, he weaved. He was almost at the goal! He could practically taste victory (and maybe a small, liver-flavored treat). The goalie, a sleepy-looking Beagle, barely registered his presence. Guido wound up for the shot of his life.
“Guido Scores!” he shrieked, putting all his tiny might into the kick.
The ball wobbled pathetically, travelling approximately three inches. A ladybug, mid-flight, intercepted it. The ladybug then promptly landed on Guido’s nose.
Bruno, seizing the opportunity, booted the ladybug (and the ball) into the goal.
The Bulldogs erupted in cheers. Guido, still with the ladybug clinging to his nose, looked utterly dejected.
Coach Buster patted him on the head. “Hey, at least you created a distraction. And,” he added, squinting, “is that a ladybug wearing a soccer ball?”
