A young boy, about eight years old, walked into the corner grocery store with the determination of someone on a very serious mission. He marched straight to the cleaning aisle and picked out the biggest box of laundry detergent on the shelf—so big it looked like it could do battle with Mount Stainmore.
The grocer, curious and amused, strolled over. Trying to be friendly, he asked, “Hey there, sport. Got a lot of laundry to do?”
The boy shook his head. “Nope. I’m gonna wash my dog.”
The grocer blinked. “Your dog?”
“Yep,” the boy said confidently. “He rolled in something weird behind the shed. Smells like expired cheese and regret.”
The grocer chuckled. “Well, I’m not sure laundry detergent is the best thing for washing a dog. It’s pretty strong stuff, you know.”
The boy looked up with the wisdom of someone who had clearly Googled “How to clean disgusting dog” at least once. “Don’t worry. I’m using the gentle cycle.”
The grocer paused. “Wait… are you using your washing machine to wash the dog?”
“Yep. Top-loader. High spin.”
Now the grocer was concerned. “Son, that’s really not a good idea. Dogs and washing machines don’t mix!”
The boy rolled his eyes like he’d heard that kind of negativity before. “Relax, Mister. I read the instructions. It says it removes tough stains and odors. My dog is both.”
The grocer sighed and watched as the boy paid with a crumpled wad of allowance money and left, detergent box under one arm and mission in his eyes.
A few days later, the same boy returned to the store, this time looking a bit glum. The grocer recognized him instantly and asked, “Hey there, how’d that dog-washing go?”
The boy sighed. “Well… he’s really clean now.”
The grocer raised an eyebrow. “So it worked?”
The boy nodded slowly. “Kind of. He’s clean. He’s also… flat.”
The grocer gasped. “You mean—”
“Yep,” the boy said. “He didn’t make it through the spin cycle.”
The grocer winced. “I told you not to use the washing machine!”
The boy shrugged. “Yeah, but you didn’t say anything about the dryer.”
Moral of the story? Always ask for full instructions—and maybe don’t mix pets with appliances.
